When I was four, my mother died of brain cancer. I do not remember much of anything about this time except that she had lots of headaches. During this time, our house had a fire and my parents were able to put it out. A few weeks later, my mother was taken to the hospital and I did not ever see her again. I did not understand or comprehend what was happening.
I am not sure I did cope until I was an adult, maybe not until after my divorce when I began counseling. I know now that I internalized it and carried it with me for years. I know that I was expected to carry an unusual load of work to fill in the place of my mother. When the family gathered to put up chickens, which they did every summer, I was in the kitchen doing my share for my family while all the other children were playing outside. I could cut up a chicken as fast as any of the women. I think that I coped by stepping up to the plate to do my share of work.
I know now, when I see a movie or hear of a family losing a mother, I cry. It wells up in me and I cannot force it down. I cannot read the book, Momma’s Chair without tearing up. It is a story about a family’s house burning. I guess, I associate the house burning with my mother’s death.
I had heard about the children soldiers and it only makes sense that the ones who survived had learned to cope as well. While I feel for the victims of these children soldiers, I feel very sad for them too. Would you happen to know if these boys were able to receive counseling? How are you coping now about the loss of your mother?
ReplyDeleteHi Barbara,
ReplyDeleteI was touched as I read your post. I am sorry to hear about your mother passing while you were so young and thank you for sharing your story. This week's assignment is an interesting one as I am sure it is stressful to think abou those memories even today. While you were pulling your weight as a child, I am sure you inspired and were observed by your younger counter parts. Again, thanks for sharing.