My Connections to Play

Not my doll, but much like it 

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them.
Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them.
Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him.
Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it.
Pamela Glenconner

This last quote describes my childhood so completely but yet there are people I would not have wanted to have lived without, such as my Grandfather and My Aunt.

As I think about play, as much as I remember, play was a time of sending the children out so work could be done in the house without being interrupted.  I used play as a means of escape, play itself could be anywhere from riding the horses to hiding away to read and dream.  I was, and am, a dreamer with lots of things to do before I am done. 

Every one of us has a child lurking inside wanting to come out.  I guess I have that child wanting to come out and play.  I can envision myself by a stream, a small one, possibly a shallow creek, stretched out on a large towel with a book in hand and a dream in the heart.  I am going to read about Australia and dream of a trip I might one day take there.  I read about the kangaroos, what a strange looking animal, and the kookaburra bird with their strange call. 

When I go to Australia, will I have to wear something different, do they dress as we do.  Are all the people prisoners, will I be afraid of the people, what color of skin do they have, what do they eat?  When I go to Australia, will I have to fly or go on a boat, do they have cars?  I read on in my book to find answers.  I will have to ask my Aunt when I get back to the house. 

The sun is getting warm and I am tired of reading so I turn over and watch the clouds.  That one looks like a ship, oh that one looks like a bird, and that one looks like a horse.  Watching the clouds make formations is fun but I fall asleep only to be wakened by a pesky fly on my nose.  I look at the clouds and they have turned dark and are rolling around like an angry sea.  I best get back to the house before the rain starts. 

I feel a drop of rain on my eye and know that I need to run faster.  As I am running, I hear a clap of thunder and more rain pelts my head.  Am I in trouble, am I going to get drenched, oh well, rain is cooling and refreshing but I must get back so not to worry anyone.  I run in the house only to find no one had missed me, they thought I was in my room reading.  Well, I was reading but not in my room but my favorite spot by the creek. 

Australia, will I ever get to go there and see all their strange animals and eat their food and see their clothes?  I hope so, the dream goes on.

The one joy of the summer was playing in the rain barrel.  Each one of us had our chance to play in the barrel.  The only purpose for the rain barrel was to play in it.  Sometimes my grandfather would use some of the water to put on the garden which was nearby.  Most of the time the barrel was for playing, as I remember.  I do not remember much of my childhood, and prefer to not go back but this was something I do remember. 

An adult note:   I went to Australia the last of September of 2004.  I got all my questions answered an more.  It is a beautiful country and my dream is to go there again before I close the book. And yes, I would have been reading a level 3 book by the time I was five.  I started  first grade at four because I could read so well.  That came from reading under the covers with a flashlight for many, many nights.

As  I look at play today versus play when I was a child, children now have so much more "equipment" for play.  The only real toy I remember was a baby doll that my sister and I shared. I am sure, there must have been others but I do not remember them.  Play for me was creative, making our own dishes out of gourds while the children now have all sorts of kitchen equipment to play and create stories with. 

As an adult, I do think that my play has influenced my life in a way to be more sensitive to children, especially those who do not have.  As far as toys, I never felt deprived in that way.  My friend and I spent time creating things out of branches, gourds, and leaves.  I do think that with so much to "have" children are not as creative and do not explore as much.  

I am not sure we teach our children to dream.  That was an important part of my play, dreaming and wondering what the world was like and how it all worked.  As a dreamer, I would go to books as my friends and let them take me to places I never thought I would go.  I now tell my children that,  books can take you to places you might not ever get to go so treat them as your friend.

Quotes Teacher/Parent

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Derek Bok, President, Harvard University

The greatest discoveries all start with the question "Why?"
Dr. Robert D. Ballard

Be very, very careful what you put into that head,
because you will never, ever get it out.
Cardinal Wolsey

Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
Mark Twain

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
Socrates

Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor
and attended to with diligence.
Abigail Adams - 1780

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
B. F. Skinner

 

www.songs4teachers.com/inspiration

Relationship Reflection

I have a good relationship with my daughter but she lives in Washington State and I live in Kansas.  I have not been to see them since March 2009.  We talk on the telephone weekly.  I talk to both boys and occasionally Dad. 

She called me one night, 1:30 a.m. crying.  It scared me and I asked her what was the matter.  Her response was “nothing Mom I just want to tell you thank you for being such a good mom and teaching me how to be a lady.” 

I have the best relationship with my youngest son than all my children.  He lives 139 miles south of Manhattan and I went to see them over the Independence Day holiday.  We had such a good time laughing and playing with their daughter.  My daughter –in-law is the best.  She is not much of a talker but she is kind and always ready to help when the need arises.  I told her Sunday that I appreciated her standing by my son in the turmoil they went through recently.  I think that she is a good wife to him.  My relationship with my son has had its rocky times, especially when he was in high school and it was just he and I.  We still have discussions that sometimes get intense but no arguments.  My son came to be with me when I had so many surgeries in 2010 and he stayed close during the cancer surgeries. 

My friends are my accountability partners, we laugh, we pray, we cry and we support each other.  I do not see them right now as much as I would like.  Being summer they are busy with their families.  I became acquainted with them through my two youngest children.  Their children, three girls, and my children were in youth group at church together.  We all became close, to the point that their daughters called me “Mom number 2”.  My son was like the girls brother.  As our children matured and moved on with their lives, they have lost track of each other but Mom and Dad and I are still close friends. 

My relationship with them is unique as he was my forwarding agent when I was in Africa and then again when I went to teach at the Mission School in Arizona.  A forwarding agent is one who oversees the stateside expenses and manages any personal business that cannot be care for overseas.  By doing this for me, they became really involved in my life, knowing pretty much everything that went on.  They were there for me when my oldest son sent a letter disowning me and never wanting to hear from me again.  He actually sent the letter to them and asked them to forward it to me.  I never saw the letter, they were protecting me from things he said and how he said them. 

My oldest son decided that he did not want to have anything to do with me because I became a missionary in Africa.  He was opposed to my going there.  He is extremely prejudiced.  He also became very involved with his dad and what was going on there.  I do not know the details but know that if he is talking to his dad he cannot talk to me.  This was very hard for me to understand and still is but I have accepted it and moved on.  It still hurts but I cannot do anything about it now except pray for him. 

Relationships have been hard for me to develop.  After my mother died when I was four, my dad took the four oldest and moved back to the family farm with my grandfather.  My dad became moody and impulsive in his anger doing things that kept all of us scared most of the time.  My dad’s sister was our caretaker and she was the kindest person, teaching us all she knew about life.  She had live a sheltered life on the farm caring for everyone but she knew how to be kind and that she did well.  My grandfather was the greatest, I know that is where my aunt learned to be kind.  He was the kind of guy everyone knew, respected and consulted about farming.

My aunt taught me to trust, my dad taught me to trust no one.  That was confusing but I preferred to follow my aunt.  I learned to trust no one again through my marriage and divorce.  I have worked hard to learn to trust again but there are times when I question the actions of others and wonder if they are being truthful. 

Strong healthy relationships are built on trust, respect and loyalty.  I know that I have that kind of relationship with my friends, my youngest son and his wife, and my daughter and her husband.  There are many people at the church that I have healthy relationships with: my friend/counselor, my friend and encourager, my minister and his wife and the administrator and his wife.  These are the people who support me, and I support and respect them.  My church is my family.  I know that my son and daughter understand that as they also are a part of this family even though they live away. 

As a preschool teacher and early childhood advocate, I know that my experiences have taught me to be sensitive to the needs of a small child.  Our house burned and my mother and father fought to put it out.  A few weeks later, my mother was taken to the hospital with bad headaches and she never came back.  I did not understand what was going on.  This impacted my life in a way that made me sensitive and caring for the feelings of small children.  I have a desire to advocate for them, to teach them, and to love them.  Teaching was my mother’s field of work when she met my father.  I wanted to follow in her steps and to do her work that she did not get to finish.  That may sound strange but that was and is my desire.