Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

The show I watched is Bizarre Foods.

     I have watched this show in part, once, but chose it because on the primary channels there were many interruptions of an amber alert.  I am not putting this alert down, it was on and off so many times, it was hard to watch a show with any consistency so I went to the Travel channel. 

     First, I watched without sound:  I was able to observe that the female was professional but friendly and open to hearing the questions her male companion was asking.  Our text describes non-verbal communication as “spontaneous and unintentional” (O’Hair, D. and Weirmann, M., 2009. p.103).   As I observed this show without sound, I saw hand gestures, especially of the male tourist and eye rolling and laughing of the woman. 

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

     The woman in the show was friendly, relaxed therefore I assumed that they were working on a food show project. This woman took him to several restaurants and markets, and then I turned on the sound, as I wanted to hear what he was saying about the food.  When he was handed the fruit, I immediately knew what it was without being told. I tasted it in Africa; it had a different name than what the guide used because of the language difference but it was the same fruit. She called it Corazon in Spanish, which means heart.  We called this fruit “sour soop” and yes, it was sour and bitter. When he sampled the fruit, it was very distasteful to him.  Obviously, by the gesture of his hand and his face, he did not like it.  She was disappointed; her face showed disappointment, instead she threw her head back and laughed.  I think that I would call this “channel discrepancy” because she obviously was disappointed but laughed to cover up and not say something inappropriate. (Adapted from O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009)

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

     If I had watched the show regularly, I would have known that she was a guide or if it were another show, I would have been more aware of the relationship of the two.

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

     The person narrating the show was traveling to a tropical country to visit. The name of the country was not evident until I turned the sound on and discovered it was Puerto Rico.  Andrew, the name of the male had a female travel guide and she was taking him to different markets and restaurants with native foods.  The guide was open to his remarks of the beauty of the country and the foods.  Their relationship appeared to be relaxed and friendly but professional.  Then I turned the sound on, and that was when he was telling her how much he did not like the fruit. 

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

     There was a sense of professionalism: relaxed and friendly but definitely a professional flavor and that is why I thought it might be colleagues working together on a food project.   

Write about your experience in your blog, including what you learned about communication from this experience and insights or “aha” moments you believe would be helpful to your colleagues.

     I think that the “aha” moment in this show was when he ate the pig’s ear.  He was surprised, his face reflected surprise and pleasure.   He expressed how much he liked the taste by verbally and non-verbal expressions.  He complemented with his face, his eyes and his hand gestures.  Another example of an “aha” moment and a non-verbal communication: he was at a family home in a remote village; after he had eaten, he thanked the younger women but kissed the grandma on the cheek.  Her reaction was smiles, eyes shining and hands clapping.   

     Tasting of bizarre foods brought to mind some of the strange, to my thinking, foods that I ate while in Africa.  Sour soop was one that I just could not tolerate; it was so bitter and stringy.  I did learn to enjoy many of their foods: and have even made the Mafia Tiga, peanut soup for my preschoolers.  That was a hit: they loved it.  That would be my personal “aha” moment, when the children ate the peanut soup and loved it and wanted more. 

     I have a better understanding of non-verbal communications skills and how they can be misinterperted and that verbal skills are skills to be worked on regularly so as to communicate what it is you are saying without misunderstandings. Life does not exist without communication, determining what kinds of skills you want to work for is the goal that each person has to ask themselves. 

Reference:

O'- Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication.

New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communication skills and behaviors

Will and Hannah bowling

Will and Hannah in stage coach

William built this castle for Hannah for Christmas

Will and Hannah on the boat

For your blog this week, think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does the person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

My son, William, is a good communicator on his job.  He is a design/marketer for a landscape company, he goes out and finds clients.  With his particular position, he goes into areas of prestigious business people.  Most of the homes are valued at over a several hundreds of thousands of dollars.  He conducts himself in a professional and business-like manner.  His people skills are precise and demonstrative.  He has a manner that shows people he cares about them, the product he is showing them, and he cares about how the landscape product will look on their property. 

I am not sure where he got all his communication skills.  His mother is not great at communication. William has practiced his skills through many avenues: when he was in high school, he entered a national preaching contest and won second place among over a hundred young men.  His wife is a good communicator and when they talk to each other, they are respectful and open to listening to each other, that is not to say they do not have disputes but on an overall, they communicate with each other, honoring each other. 

There are many points when Will’s communication skills I envy; his professionalism, his well-placed words, his body language gives positive non-verbal symbols.  I do know that his father-in-law is a man of “perfect communications skills”. William’s downfall is when he gets frustrated; he is always very colorful in his speech, but not one I want to hear.  Sorry, son, you know it is true.  William is a person I admire greatly and am proud he is my son. 

 

Professional Hopes and Goals

As most of you know, I am new to this group.  I had to take two classes off to have complete hip-replacement surgery.  Julie Rand is the only one I recognized from other classes.  Because the surgery, I have been out of participation in childhood advocacy.  Now, I am ready to get into my journey in childhood studies.  If you know of anyone needing to go through that surgery, just know that it is the most painful thing I have ever gone through.

I have an interview with a new pre-school next Tuesday.  I know that this is going to be a different school than I have worked in before. The preschool where I am interviewing at is located in the most prestigious area of town.  The last school I worked at was in the lower income district. 

I am eager to get back to teaching and being involved with children and their families.  I know that children are children; they have many of the same needs and wants.  They also can have very different needs and wants.  It will be interesting to see the diversity and social identities of the children that come to this school.  I do know that the curriculum and standards are Christian based.  

I also recognize that this could bring challenges as we have such a religiously diverse town.  Equity, social justice and diversity may look differently than what I have worked with before, but maybe not.  I am eager to find what is going to be the scenario. 

My dream is that children all over the world will have an opportunity for education, I know realistic that is a dream but I think that it can be done when we all join together to accomplish this.  When I was in Africa, I saw so many children without any opportunities of educations.  I had little boys sit on the roof of their homes so they could look over my 8 ft. fence and watch the children I was teaching.  I wanted so bad to invite them in and take them into my classroom.  The parents would not allow it. 

I want to thank all of my colleagues for their support and conversations.  I have learned much for each of you.  I appreciated the openness that all of you have shared.  I appreciate that we could have discussions and not necessarily agree but learn something new. 

Thank you to Dr. Ferrari for all her help and patience.

At this point in my life, I am not sure what my future holds but I do know that my two books will be published in the spring.  I want to write more, have some ideas that I want to be published. The things I have learned in this class give me some different ideas for addressing diversity and equity.   I do want to get back to work with children and families. 

WELCOMING FAMILIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD

You are working in an early childhood setting of your choice—a hospital, a childcare center, a social service agency. You receive word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from a country you know nothing about will join your group soon. You want to prepare yourself to welcome the child and her family. Luckily, you are enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated you need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin.

The country that I choose to discuss is Chad, Africa. Chad has a spicy cuisine with fish as the primary entre and the fish industry is one of the major source commerce in the country.  They also enjoy some cakes and very appealing desserts. Although food is not deep culture it is a place of comfort when one is feeling out of place, to have a little piece of home looking up at you from a plate is like a “little hug”.

Another item that is not considered deep culture but can be such a frustration is the conversion of monies.  Not understanding how the monetary system works and how money is used can put a great deal of stress on a family.  The money used in Chad is the CAF Franc, which is in danger of expiring and wondering of what happens next in their world of economy still remains on the mind of the immigrant.  This question is something they will think of, leaving family at home and the worries of how they will survive. 

I have looked up the education in Chad. The educational system is patterned after the French system with the instruction in French.  Schools that conform to the guidelines prescribed by the government are aided. Education is ideally compulsory between ages 6 to 12.  Studies show the ratio of teachers to children; in 1997, there were 10,151 teachers to 680,909 students.  One has to wonder how much teaching occurs with those ratios.   

With this information in mind, how much education does this child have and what opportunities to learn have been available to him?  Will the child have an idea what school is about, or will it be another new experience!  What is the reason for the family coming to the states, for more education, to escape persecution, or to join family already in the states? 

How can I help this family to be comfortable, to feel they are wanted and welcomed?  What are their feelings and fears about this new place?  Are they thinking, will they look at me because I am different?  How can I help the family, especially the child coming into this class to look at himself as one of the class? 

Researching the toys that the children play with in Chad seems like a strange thing to think about but entering a new room full of toys that are foreign can be scary.  Assigning a “mother child” to the new child has been successful for me.  The “mothering child” shows the new child where the bathroom is, where we play with the toys, where we sit for circle, how we stand in line, where we wash our hands and where we go to eat.  When the parents see that another child is caring for their child, they are comfortable as they see their child comfortable. 

Reaching out to the parents in a respectful and caring manner is a requirement for a teacher who really cares about her children and all the parents.  One parent watches how the teacher treats the other parents will expect the same attention and respect.

Smidt (2006) suggests using the ecological system of Bronfennbrenner who was one of the first to examine how worlds of children intersect.  The microsystem, the inner circle, is the family representing the everyday life, the next circle is the exosystem linking home with church or mosque or synagogue, between home and school whether it be daycare or public school.  The outer circle is the macrosystem, which includes the social systems such as laws and the economics of the community or state.   

When we look at these systems, we can have a clear picture of the issues that might or will confront the new family and ones, which we can assist them. 

REFERENCES:

Maps of World  RETRIEVED FROM http://www.mapsofworld.com/chad/society-and-culture

Smidt, S. (2006). The developing child in the 21st century: A global perspective on child development. New York, N.Y.: Routledge.

Slogan for my classroom

Why did the little fish cross the road? 

He was going to school!

W when you
E enter this
L little room
C consider yourself
O one of the special
M members of a group who
E enjoy working and learning

IS THIS REALLY TRUE?

Example of Ageism

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like.

When I filed for unemployment after leaving the last preschool, they appealed the unemployment. When we came before the judge, they agreed that everything I said about the incident was true.  Then she finished her statement by saying that she thought the problem came because I am older and allowed the children to call me “Grandma”.  Actually, I did not tell them they could call me Grandma but my granddaughter told them they could, but she is my real “Grandma”. 

·         In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

I felt that there was age discrimination and I wish that I had asked the judge about it.  She said that the problem was my age.  I did not think as far as the children were concerned they looked at me less a person.  The mother of the child that gave me problems said she did not think that the children respected me as a teacher because I let them call me Grandma. 
I spoke to the director, asking her if she thought I should resign.  She laughed and said go home and sleep on it.  Tomorrow will be a better day.  I did not feel that the administration supported me.

·         What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

The feelings that surged in me: hurt, disappointment and anger.  I had interviewed with this particular school two other times and they begged me to come this particular time and teach there. I had not gone there before as they were not offering a living salary but this time was after the current preschool announced they were closing so I took the job.

·         What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

I guess the greater opportunity for me was to return home and go to the doctor.  I knew that I hurt when I walked but had no idea it was as bad as it was.  I had surgery a soon as possible and spent time recovering.  Now I am looking for a job. 

I am not sure where the equity in the incident.  After I left they put in a young girl that was my assistant for two hours each week.  She lasted one month.  Then they brought in another young girl, I do not know what happened but my son and his wife pulled my granddaughter immediately.    My son told me that after I left, things really deteriorated and he did not want Hannah there.  Hannah had been there for 2.5 years and in that, time had nine teachers.

I think personally the equity for the school would be to replace the director and her site-director.  They played favorites with certain families and other families talked about them behind their backs. I do not know what happened but I know my son was going to resign the board but not until after he called for the resignation of the two.

Before going to this school, I worked at the school in Manhattan for 2.75 years.  There was an occasional staff-administration confrontation but never anything like in the last school.